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The Evolution

Cho Amisola on How a Breakup Lead Her to Her Purpose

 

A love failed turned into a love gained for Cho Amisola. Heart break led her to an reimbursement of light during dark times. Studying literacy in the Philippines has given Cho Amisola a broader outlook on her soul claimed passion. Explore the depths of this poet’s inner thoughts with this enlightening disclosure of self precedence. 

Tell us about yourself. What do you think was a defining point in your life growing up?

I am Chona Mae Abayan Amisola. I am 20 years old and I live in a humble subdivision in Rizal, Philippines with my whole family. I am currently in my fourth year in college, and I am proud to be studying at the Polytechnic University of the Philippines. I stay in our school’s dormitory here in Manila, so I am often away from home.

It was hard at first but I was able to cope later on. I grew up studying in a Catholic school; I was a scholar there from kindergarten up until I graduated. It wasn’t easy, during my elementary days because there really was discrimination towards the scholars. We were some sort of an outcast; the lowest in their own hierarchy of students. But it never appalled me in any way; I remained jolly and friendly to all. I’m really grateful to have studied there because of the good quality education they gave me.

As for those who tried to bully me, I also thank them because it’s them who made me strong and indifferent to the critics around me. I learned to accept that life is not trouble-free and it’s sometimes unfair, but I never forget that rainbows always come after the rain.

You're from China, is poetry huge in your culture? What does poetry mean to you?

In the Philippines, literature is very important. We study different kinds of literature local and international artists wrote. As for poetry, it is at its highest peak in the present. Many freelance and aspiring writers have conquered social media.

I have always been in love with reading, especially writing. I have written countless poems, quotes, and short stories while I was growing up. It’s just so sad that I wasn’t able to save and keep it all. But it’s okay, I have new compositions and I have plans of creating much more!

Poetry has been my voice, during the times when I can’t express how I feel, I end up writing them. Poetry was my light when I was at my darkest time. Poetry has been my stress-reliever, whenever I feel down, all I have to do is write and everything will be alright. Poetry means everything to me. It is the answer to the question: “What would I want to be in the future?” I say an author – author of all kinds of composition – particularly in poetry.

What are some obstacles you've had to overcome in life and how did you overcome them?

Life has been so good to me, but nothing is perfect and neither am I. Just when I thought that everything is fine with me, I became sick and frail, I got an ulcer. My stools had blood in it so we went to the doctor right away and that’s when we knew I’ve had the ulcer, UTI, and anemia.

I was laughing at myself and thought: That’s what you get from eating all salty and fatty foods! Not even to mention drinking soda every day! I got skinny and cautious about what I ate. It was devastating not to eat all your favorite food but I had to do it.

God and my family have been my rocks in overcoming that stage in my life. After a month of medication, my ulcer subsided. It was such good news to me and my family, but being as stubborn as I am, after 6 months, I got diagnosed again. My doctor said if this happens again for the third time, I would have no choice but to have a surgery to patch my wounded stomach. I got afraid. So up to now, I am trying my best not to get myself in the operating room. I’m trying so hard to live a healthy life. And my family and friends are helping me with it.

If you could change anything about your past what would it be and why?

Let’s talk about loving this time. I've always been such a dupe in love. I have been fooled by it so many times. Men toy me around, not because I am an easy girl but because I trust easily and fall too deeply. I rarely commit but when I do, it just means that that person means the world to me and I am willing to be a part of his. This is my sweetest downfall. I tend to get blind when in love; blind to lies, deceptions, and misconceptions.

My first relationship gave me butterflies and thorns. After that one real heartbreak, I became heartless, numb and insensitive. I became the girl no one would ever want to have. I became the total opposite of how my parents would've wanted me to be. And the worst of it all, I lost respect and love for myself.

If only I could turn back time, I would never want that break up to affect me so much and lose the old me. If only I used it as a tool to become the better me, and not to take revenge on innocent people, none of this would’ve happened. Maybe, no one would’ve told me I’ve changed drastically.

I ended up getting marred over and over and I also hurt some people. Seeing the dilemma I was in, my friends did everything they could to stop me from being a stranger to them. They helped me realize things and me being aware of their efforts, I whole-heartedly cooperated. I also joined one of my friend’s church, The Feast, and that’s when I truly recovered. I am thinking maybe these heartbreaks are God’s way of telling me that this is the time for me to love Him, and not those guys who give me nothing but pain.

On the brighter side, my first break up was the key for me to know which path to take in my life. How? I used to create poems about him, us and gave only one to him when we were on the verge of breaking up.

my first break up was the key for me to know which path to take in my life.

They say heartbreaks make each of us really poetic and that’s what happened to me. I was astounded as to how writing really calms my soul and mind. I loved every stroke of my pen when scribbling or the sound of my keyboard each time I type. That moment, I knew I wanted to become a writer; an author. I want to inspire people through my compositions. Truly, that breakup was a blessing in disguise. I figured out who I am and who I want to become.

What can we expect from you 5 years from now?

Years from now, I hope you see my name on Google, not just on any social media sites but Google itself, because I have made it; I have become that famous. It is a very big dream but, who knows.

Well, for the time being, maybe five years from now, you’ll still hear from me, writing and making people feel the bitter taste of love and pain. I could’ve debuted as an author by then, and I will still be this meek aspiring writer with big dreams and big hopes, who has the determination to make her dreams possible and true.

To learn more about Cho Amisola, Visit her on Instagram: Wordsbycho.