Devotion: First Love, A Renewed Desire


By Jecenia Jackson

Have you ever felt like you’ve just been going through the motions of life? With anything you do, even something you really love, it feels like there’s just no passion, no desire or spark for it anymore? I know I have. For a while, like I stated in the “about me” section of my blog, I have always loved writing, but somewhere down the line, I just really lost my desire and zeal for it. I felt like every time I tried to pick up a pen and write, there was just not enough passion in me to write anything meaningful. I still loved it, I still read and admired others’ work, and I thought about my own and how great it could be if only I took the time to go back and really work and focus on it. But I didn’t have that burning fire inside to give me the push I needed. It can also be like that with school, careers, friendships, relationships, hobbies and a number of others things, and honestly, it’s one of the worst feelings and places to be. I think it’s so easy to realize a lot of things in the natural but fail to recognize the very same thing could be happening spiritually in our relationship with God.

Revelation 2:2-5 says, 

I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lamp-stand from its place — unless you repent.

Now what I gathered from that word is that leaving your First Love is obviously no small thing in the eyes of God. I mean he clearly says, “I have this against you, that you have left your first love…I will remove your lamp-stand from its place.” You may be a person who labors for the Lord, hates evil, did all the above with perseverance, and all this is good, don’t get me wrong, but you may just be going through the motions or you may simply be a child who has lost their desire, and strayed away or distanced themselves from God’s presence. But He also says, “…unless you repent.” So that means, regardless of any of that, whatever your case may be, if you have left your first love, that needs to be corrected, and the good news is that it can be with open arms from the Lord. 

Losing the desire for something, or most importantly even someone you love can be detrimental to the relationship with that person. For example, if someone who loves to dance loses their interest or desire for it, their dreams and passions of dancing will soon start to diminish right before their eyes. The same with a relationship. If someone loses the desire in their relationship with another person, that relationship will begin to diminish and fall apart as well. 

However a lot of people (myself included) have thought, “How can I go back to God when I’ve strayed so far?” or, “How do I get back in my word when I haven’t read in so long?” and “How do I even pray anymore? Where do I even find God now?” Well, let me ask you this: when you lose your car keys, where are they? When you lose a pair of sunglasses, where are they? If you think real hard about it, when you lose things like that, they’re always right where you left them! And that’s the way it is with your first love for God. If you’ve lost it, guess where it is? Yep! It’s right there wherever you left it. Jesus says, go back, retrace your steps and find it. Go back to church, get back into fellowship with your brothers and sisters in Christ, get back in your Word, get back on your face, pray and cry out to God. Wherever that is, it’s still right there because God hasn’t moved! He’s waiting for you to come back. He’s waiting for that fire to burn inside you again. He’s waiting for that desire for new places in Him to spark in you again, He’s waiting. Simply waiting for you.

As I think about this scripture, I can’t help but to be reminded of the Kirk Franklin song, “First Love”. I can just hear the sweet voice of God sing the lyrics ever so gently, but firm and assuring at the same time. “Come back to your first love, first love. Come back home, back where you belong, come to your first love!” That’s what God longs for from us the most -  a restored relationship with Him and a renewed desire for the things of Him, and so freely is He willing to give it to us. So right now, at this very moment, I urge you to repent like David and go back to your FIRST LOVE

Prayer: Gracious and merciful God, our Father, thank You! Thank you for being God. A God who loves me so much that You would send Your only Son to die for me so that I may be connected to You again. Forgive me for leaving You, my first love, the One who calls me His own. Forgive me for losing my desire to seek after You and help me to remember the sacrifice You made for me so that I may even have that privilege. Remind me daily that a relationship with You is exactly that; a privilege. Restore my faith where it’s been lost, heal me where I’ve been broken, light me back on fire for You from the depths of my heart and renew my desire to pursue the things of you, Lord. Make me desperate for You again and Holy Spirit, help me not to leave again once I’ve come back. I want more of You, God, so I ask that you empty me of the things You must, so that You can fill me back up with Your Spirit. “Give me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” I love You so much, God, and I thank You. In Your precious Son Jesus’ great name, Amen.

Meditate on: Revelation 2:2-5, Psalm 51, Psalm 57:7, Psalm 40:8, 1 Kings 8:61

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