What I Learned From Being A Stay At Home Mom
By Jeanette Ambers
“You depend on your kids as much as they depend on you.”
Sounds crazy right? Like how can a grown woman depend on her kids that much? I will tell you.
Your kids depend on you for their life. Food, shelter, health, basically every detail that keeps life afloat. But in the midst of the demand and the supply that you are providing. You are silently demanding and supplying yourself a life of consistent deep personal fulfillment. Let me explain....
It may be hard at first to get used to how you may no longer have freedom like you once had, you soon appreciate it!
You don't always want to have plans or go to that party or bake those stupid fundraiser cupcakes. You don't really want to go to the gym or go for a walk for that matter.
You don't want to watch another one of the other kids’ baseball games, that they lose every time. You don't want to walk them off to school in the morning, nevertheless see all the other peppy moms. Maybe, you just don't want to see anyone.
Partly, because your tired from the baby. Or, maybe you’re not in the baby-stage anymore but either way you still don't want to do something. Simply, because you just don't want to do anything!
You start to find yourself depending on your kids for your mental stability...or lack thereof, at this stage.
You have your own personal schedule and agenda and your kids start to save you!
From that girls’ night out or the date nights you don't really want to go on. Even the love-making sessions that your guy plans out but somehow magically you have to skip out on that too.
No, you can’t make that PTO meeting, someone is sick. No, you can’t cook dinner because you have activities you must attend. "No, I'm sorry I can’t today...because blah blah blah" It's the mother of all statements to save you.
Think about how many times, you have an awkward conversation. The baby or the kid interrupts and that conversation is halted like THANK YOU JESUS!!!
Your walking, your standing in the grocery line...you don't know where to look but you can look at your kids.
You see someone you haven't seen in ages and you wish you hadn't, so you distract yourself with none other than your kids.
You swerve into the next lane while driving. The person pulls up next to you. So, what do you do? You look back and talk to the kids.
You’re at a party and no one is talking to you or you’re just being your anti-social self, so you talk to your kid.
Then one day you’re alone.
The world is too big for you. You don't know what to do.
Like how do you hold your purse?
Or, walk in a straight line?
What do you look at when you walk down the street?
Where do go?
What do I do with my free arms?
How do I look? Is my hair combed? Is my bra showing?
Suddenly, I am self-conscious. My nerves kick in. My heart pounds and I want to run home. “OMG who am I?” I think to myself.
I don't have them to get me out of a sticky situation. I don't have them to shield me and I don't have them to look at!
Being a Stay at Home Mom for 13 years has made me 13 years awkward. Like Ariel from the Little Mermaid trying to be "part of that world.” Just never realized how much I depend on my kids even more then they depend on me!
Independence...What is that?!
This article was originally posted on JeanetteAmbers.com, a lifestyle blog on beauty, parenting, fitness, wine, truth, and self-love!