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The Pink Press

3 Ways to Protect Your Self-Esteem

By Keisha Apklin Davis

Self-esteem is really important to me. It can be so difficult for young girls growing up in today’s society to remain true and confident.

Every day is a constant battle in regards to everything we see on TV, the things we find on the internet, and the songs we hear.

We eventually start to compare our looks and what we have or don’t have to others. We become attached to worldly things in hopes that it’ll make us look good. On top of that, people can plant a negative seed in your head about yourself that will forever remain a dilemma, which then leads to insecurities.

I was bullied for how I looked from first grade until my sixth grade year in middle school. Having eczema is something I have struggled with since I was a child.

I was bullied daily over something I had no control over! It was a feeling I could never shake off because people always made me feel unhuman and ugly about it. I used to compare myself to other girls, always questioning why my skin couldn’t be like theirs, asking God why did he make me this way?

My skin made me very insecure, but looking back on it, I’ve learned it had a purpose. If I never experience those feelings, I wouldn’t be able to share ways to overcome it with anyone, because as you grow older you come to realize that it’s not you with the issues, it’s them.

People are insensitive, but we have to understand that their words does not hold any truth!

No matter how much I tried to cover my body because I didn’t want people to talk about me, I had to remember their words won’t stop me from my purpose. I had to believe that I am a fabulous person inside and out, regardless of what skin conditions I have.

Everyone has something that they are insecure about, whether it’s their height, weight, stretch marks, eyes, noses, lips or hair. We can’t let what we see on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook tell us how we should look. I used to let eczema rule my life until I learned how to take control on protecting my self-esteem.

Here are the three steps I took to start protecting my self-esteem.

1. ADMIT

I had to learn to admit that I will always have eczema, no matter what I tried using to get rid of it. No matter how many times I prayed for God to remove it and no matter how many layer of clothes I tried to cover up in, eventually I had to take them off and accept the skin I’m in.

I learned to admit to others based on my fears and how I feel their reactions would be if they knew I had eczema. In reality we have insecurities because of what we think other people think about us. So just learn to admit and accept your flaws. Do it for yourself. 

2. EMBRACE

Yes, people may have talked about your weight, height, hair or whatever. Once you’ve accepted your flaws and released all those negative emotions behind it, embrace it! I remember it was a time I hated wearing short sleeved shirts and skirts, but I became so comfortable with myself that I begin to little by little show my body more.

It takes time to be completely confident, but once you get there it’s an amazing feeling. Remember the things you are insecure about is what makes you who you are. Learn to embrace those things you can’t change, that’s what confidence looks like!

3.ACCEPT LOOKS DON’T MATTER

We’ve been conditioned to believe if we look like that Instagram model, or wear certain make up or weave to enhance our looks, or Photoshop our body that that’ll get us far in the world.

But it doesn’t work that way. Growing older, I learned that my eczema doesn’t refrain me from being true to myself. I have a good heart and an admirable personality. Just by being who I am, I have gotten a lot of good supportive friends, good jobs, connections and most importantly a husband who loves me unconditionally.

When you remain true and confident in yourself, looks won’t matter. Just look at Canadian model Winnie Harlow. She didn’t have an easy childhood because she had vitiligo, but now she is the face of CoverGirl!

When it comes to protecting your self-esteem, things won’t be easy. It’s surely a daily reminder to keep yourself balanced.

If you are struggling with something you don’t like about yourself, I just want you to understand that you are unstoppable, you are worthy, and you can choose to do anything you want despite what flaws you have.

Master the art of loving and protecting how you feel about yourself, always.

Nature is Love.

To keep up with Keisha Davis, follow her on Twitter, @Apklinly_ or Instagram, @_apklinly.